var today_obj=new Date()
var today_date=today_obj.getDate()
var tips=new Array()

tips[0]="We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.";
tips[1]="Age is a very high price to pay for maturity."
tips[2]="Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
tips[3]="Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving."
tips[4]="The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tyre."
tips[5]="If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people."
tips[6]="There are two theories on how to win arguments with women. Neither one works." 
tips[7]="Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
tips[8]="Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."
tips[9]="A closed mouth gathers no foot."
tips[10]="Some people speak from experience; others, from experience, don't speak"
tips[11]="Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice dog, good dog!'... till you can find a stone."
tips[12]="Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."
tips[13]="Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there"
tips[14]="Some days you are the moth, some days you are the windscreen."
tips[15]="Any fool can criticise, condemn, & complain - and most do."
tips[16]="The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
tips[17]="If you always tell the truth, you don't need a good memory."
tips[18]="If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."
tips[19]="Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."
tips[20]="Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else."
tips[21]="Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their colour."
tips[22]="It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."
tips[23]="Be nice to your children. Remember they'll choose your nursing home."
tips[24]="If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
tips[25]="Never test the depth of the water with both feet."
tips[26]="Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted."
tips[27]="Never miss a good chance to shut up."
tips[28]="If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments."
tips[29]="Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any."
tips[30]="When you get to the end of your tether, tie a knot and hang on."
tips[31]="When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."